We need to combine Change with Moderation and that is not happening! – The 2 Strangers, Change and Moderation need to meet and become friends.
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The Power of Temperance in Leadership and Debate
Moderation in all things, except moderation! Anyone who has been soft cancelled will know this!
Where did we lose the ability to find balance, be in the middle, operate will keeping at least one perspective, acknowledge or even see both sides, and be happy?
When blogging, communicating or presenting, we need to hit the median audience member with some reasonable facts, and an argument that combines provocation at the start, with supporting facts in the middle and a reasonable request at the end. Sensible stuff, but do we always do that?
Us and them
Today, on social media, no one seems happy – We are all stewing in our own tribal bubbles complaining about other tribes. People are chucking out hate as if there was a sale on! That or we are presenting in super-safe mode and saying, basically nothing but platitudes, for fear of upsetting the extreme portion of our audience. Both modes are ineffective.
Balance
Temperance is about finding the sweet spot between indulgence and deprivation. An example. Too little food, money or exercise is not good for us. Too much food, money or exercise is also not good for us either. There is an inverted U for the benefits of most things we do or consume. We need to be in the middle of the range.
In some parts of the world calories are hard to come by. In these countries a large belly signifies success. Where food is readily available a wasp waist is a sign of discipline or sophistication. It goes against the norms of consumption and behaviours of the majority and can represent constraint. But again it can all go too far.
The Benefit of Balance
If someone bangs the drum loudly and repeatedly, for only one side of an argument, and will not engage or acknowledge any input from the other side, then we will not believe them. In fact we should not believe them. They have not done the work. They maybe caught up in the tractor beam of a cult, ideology or an unacknowledged hate group, and so are not able to be part of the conversation. Debate is off the table. In the Western Cannon, we must work out and present the pros and the cons of our case before we or the audience can be asked to draw any kind or reasonable conclusion. And so it is with presenting.
Put your dirty washing out early
Applying this and inserting the position of the other side is simple. Put out any anti-argument or bad news first. Discount your position down to the bottom of your V and then spend the rest or your talk, building people back up, step by step to the sunshine on the other side – You will enjoy credibility. If you have a case, then you will earn the respect from your true audience of reasonable people, for your preparation, balance and honesty. This is a win worth earning.
Self control
I meet up with a rather specific group of people every now and again and they are into banter, slogging and giving each other a hard time. Don’t be alarmed. This represents in-group bonding, tough love, rugged affection and mostly comes from a good place. But not always. When presenting, discussing or exchanging, we must work on ourselves to become as robust and resilient as possible, to make sure we do not sink and drown in our own, out of control reactions and emotions. A certain detachment is required in all things, in order to avoid excesses – even when it comes to feelings. When we don’t take things personally, then we can live in harmony with those around us. This is useful if they are your work colleagues and you have to be in the same room for 100s of hours.
Good conflict and real debate
When we have a strong change suggestion to put forward, we are going to encounter resistance from around 85% of the audience (based on research around change, adoption of change and change project failure rates.) A more moderate approach can help wrangle and cope with all of this drama, so that the audience at least take the concepts, facts and argument in, before they emote, and shut their ears to any proposal around taking a different path from the current one, to get to a better or more sustainable future.
Give up the adult
People think they are adults in what they believe, and will strenuously resist being made into intellectual children, no longer in control of their abilities, knowledge or competences.
Risk reduction
A top tip is to soften the audience’s landing when you deliver your next talk on change or an idea that represents a radical departure from the norm, is to provide a path back from the extreme, and matching this with a balanced and pleasant version of the future expanding on the benefits, providing real assurance, and sharing an honest description of what sacrifices are required. All this as your audience of executives process the inevitable dip in their personal ability to control their function and inputs, and slowly move toward accepting the need to learn and practice, as a child, to become tooled up, competent and ready to operate towards a different future.
About the author
Matthew Hill works is a presentation skills facilitator working with leaders and groups of corporate executives, helping them present at a level that represents their current depth of knowledge, passion and desire to make change happen.
Happy to chat…
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